What Are You Saying?

Listen to What You Say!

Words are interpreted by those listening. Words are heard through the filters in the mind. Words can be received with love or with fear. Words can be hear both cloudy and clear

When you speak, speak with intention. When you share, share with love. When you help, help with respect. When you give, give with gratitude.

Often people are saying only what the listener wants to hear. Some people speak to receive approval and appreciation. Others say what they need to hear for themselves. Some simply talk to fill the silence.

Pay attention to the setting, private or public. Listen for the language of the listener. Attune to your intention to connect or disconnect. Recognize the emotional state and language of the receiver.

Many other components of speech are done intuitively. Often people don’t even notice who they are talking to. If there is an agenda or intention for the communication, it may not be heard. Often there are inappropriate times or ways of speaking with others.

Some notice body language and others tone of voice. Some receive the message through facial expressions. Some actually connect and believe every word. In communication, there is no way to control what the other receives.

Communication is a fine art. Communication is complex and often inadequate. What we perceive is what we believe. What we hear it translated by our past experience.

It is valuable to know our intention before we speak. It is helpful to have some knowledge of the other. It is useful to be clear about the desired outcome for the words spoken. It is healthy to clarify what was actually heard by the receiver.

Some key questions for each communication: What is the intention of this conversation, phone call or text? What do I want to other to receive from me? How do I want the outcome to be? Do I need to listen first or share first? Is this communication for a specific purpose? Do I want to be helpful or demanding, positive or negative? Do I just want to dump my own toxic material and hope for the best? Am I hear to bring calm or disturbance? Do I want to share love or fear?

Stop before you speak and ask “What is my desired outcome?”. When you make a mistake, it is always helpful to apologize, forgive your error and learn what is better. Let’s respect and appreciate each communication and the words we use!

Thanks for caring, Betty Lue

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