Are You Grieving?

Grieving?

Grief looks and feels different for everyone. Grief has many stages and phases and changes. When you feel sad, depressed, angry, tired, you may be grieving. When you feel lonely, irritated, sick or confused, you may be grieving.

Grief is usually seen as Loss of a Loved One. Grief can be loss of a physical or mental ability from disease or aging. We may grieve over loss of a home, job, or relationship. We can grieve loss of innocence, trust, faith or hope.

When we lose something or someone to whom we are attached, there is an obvious experience. Sometimes we get mad and blame. Sometimes we feel sad and mourn. Sometimes we try to fix or deny. Sometimes we bargain and try to get back.

There are many ways we experience in our bodies, our thought, our feelings, our relationships. All are perhaps not seen as grief, but we need to respond to ourselves with compassion and love. We can most easily learn about our needs and take care of ourselves. We can ask for help, support, listening and for kindness from others.

Since life is mostly about letting go, grieving is natural for most. Some experience no “grief”, but rather experience acceptance for what is. When we listen to and honor our inner voice, we allow whatever to be as it is. When we trust in our process, we pay attention and let go of our fears.

Take time to feel what you feel. Be aware of what your thoughts are. Write down what you believe and what you are learning. Stay open to the obvious and subtle awareness that comes.

Some of the following may be helpful: Surviving the Loss of a Love (book) Honorable Closure Process below. Write letters expressing the multitude of feelings. Be willing to experience without judging oneself. Talk out loud to the person, object or experience. Ask again and again more deeply, “What am I learning?”

There is no “normal” grieving time or way. Love yourself just as you are with kindness. Forgive and let go with Love.

Loving us all with kindness, Betty Lue

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