Parenting and Partnering

Parenting and Partnering (All relationships deserve our best)

We need to love the child (partner) we have and not the one in our mind. Show up with your child and pay attention to who and how they are right now. Listen to them with respect and they learn to listen to you with respect. Give them time, touch, teaching and positive regard and they learn to feel confident.

Our relationships are often projections of what we are denying ourselves. Parenting is often punishing ourselves for what we thought we did wrong. Only through healing ourselves can we fully see our child ( partner) as they truly are. Significant others in our lives often make obvious our unexpressed desires, needs and judgments.

Usually we continue doing what our parents did or the opposite. We may live out our own fixations and reactivity and continue thinking it is the best. Sometimes we do what the culture, current trend or book says to do. Some continue doing what they know is wrong, but are afraid to change.

When we learn to love, trust and free ourselves, we can love, trust and free others. Our work is clearing our own beliefs, fears, hurts, resentments and guilt. When we can see how we are meant to be, we know and accept who we really are. Learning to love and accept ourselves, allows us to fully and freely love and accept others.

Children learn and change before our eyes when they are free. Children who feel safe freely choose what is right in each moment. Children explore and experiment what works and doesn’t work for them. Your inner child seeks the same for you, wherever you are and whatever you do.

There are many paths to learning to be whole. Integrity and honesty, caring and compassion, practicality and effectiveness, individuality and self expression, knowledge and wisdom, confidence and joy, strength and power, peace and patience. Children learn life values and positive motivation from living freely and trusting themselves. When we trust ourselves, we observe and learn through natural consequences.

We need to educate ourselves and our children to do, to act, to accomplish what is valuable We need to educate our children to know, think, observe, be conscious, respect differences. We need to educate everyone to live together with caring, empathy, positive interaction, harmony The process of integral education is more than school teaches and more than parents know usually.

Let us begin where we are. Let us honor, trust and free our own inner child. Let us observe the consequences of our thoughts, words and behavior. Let us be forgiving as we learn to create safety, security, belonging, caring and achievement.

Self Actualization is discovering who we are and freely sharing the gifts of our essence. May we all feel loved, trusted and free.

Betty Lue

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