Stop the Anger Addiction!

We develop habits of mind, habits of words, habits of behavior. They may become addictions, when we experience intermittent reward. They may become addictive, when we get an adrenalin high. Time to stop this addiction to get angry for the rush of energy or the release of tension.

It seems many have learned, when you get frustrated and feel helpless, get angry. This is much like the infant or toddler who tantrums to release their frustration. As we are growing up, the more attention we give to acting out, the more kids act out. When anger becomes the way to express ourselves to get out needs met, it becomes a bad habit.

Isn’t it time to recognize anger is out of control?

Anger can be dangerous to ourselves and others. Anger creates more fear and anger in others. Anger leads to emotional reactions and violence. Anger kills relationships when it is uncontrolled.

What can you do to manage your anger? What can you do to stop hurting others with your threats and words? What can you do to use your mind to create a better way? What can you do to break bad habits and change your mind?

Observe your angry patterns. Pay attention to what happens in your mind and body. Notice what you can do to interrupt the pattern. Learn to step away and breathe.

Give yourself a timeout from the person or situation. Take a pause by talking to yourself or changing your mind. Ask what really matters – the relationship with another or using fear to be in control. When you are clear it is inappropriate and ineffective to use anger, stop.

Anger is often used by parents and others to get kids to obey. Anger is then used by children to get their way. Anger becomes bullying when we scare others. Anger teaches bullying when we rely on anger instead of trust.

Build trusting and respectful relationships with your tone of voice. Build trusting and helpful relationships by listening to other’s ideas and feelings. Build trust and respect in all relationships by taking the time to respect others. Build trust and responsibility by learning to respond with love, encouragement, support and respect.

Mature adults find respectful and responsible ways to teach and foster positive relationships. Conscious parents learn to be respectful in all their interactions and create positive relationships. Become proactive in building trust and respect in your home and workplace. Handle disagreements in a way that promotes conversation with love, not confusion with fear.

Blessing us all in finding a better way, Betty Lue

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