Healing Through Relationships

Where we have “buttons” pushed, we are potentially “healing” or “rewounding”. Where we get upset, we are experiencing a place of vulnerability. We may try to get others to change to protect ourselves from being hurt. We may use anger, tears, logic, rewards, seduction, illness, threats and whatever works.

We can try to get others to change or we can heal our own vulnerability. We can stay and “guilt” or wound others to get them to do what we want. We can leave the situation, hoping to find others who don’t “hurt our feelings.” We can change ourselves and learn to tolerate the behavior which upsets us.

People play roles for us to help us recognize where we have old wounds and sensitivities. People offer opportunities to get hurt, hurt them or heal ourselves and offer healing to them. Most folks believe that the trick it to get people to treat you “right”. Most folks think they just need to find the “right” people.

What if when we stop being “hurt” or “upset”, we no longer have our buttons pushed. What if when we no longer take anything personally, we see that it was all about their healing needs. What if when we become a “healing presence”, we stop defending, avoiding, protecting or attacking. What if when others “seem” to be criticizing or attacking or hurting, they are telling on themselves.

When we begin to see a world of people seeking to heal themselves, we ask how we can heal. When we heal ourselves of our wounds, we see how others are needing our help and our forgiveness. When we can forgive our past, clear it and wash away the scars of misunderstanding, we are whole. When we are whole, we no longer are wounded by others need for healing and lack of wholeness.

Yes, in relationships, we each play a part of the interaction….and can learn and heal from all of it. Yes, in relating we have an opportunity to be giver, taker, pleaser, distractor, helper and healer. Yes, in our relationship we learned to relate in ways that helped us cope and survive, succeed and thrive. Yes, we often continue the same coping skills and personality styles without asking if they still work.

In every group interaction, there are folks who “attract” and those who “repel” us. Both these types of individuals have potential teaching and healing power. The relationships where there is both positive and negative energy show us where we can learn. Relationships that are neutral show us nothing needing healing attention.

When we have “healed” ourselves, the upset and hurt stops. When we have “healed” our wounds, we are not longer hurt. When we have “healed” our buttons, we no longer react to others pushing. When we have “healed” , we know we are whole and step away or offer healing and help.

What will it be for your relationships and peace of mind. When I really want peace for us all, I will see, know and offer nothing else. What I want for myself is what I give to others. What I want for my world, I have and give to all.

Loving us all with love in my heart and peace in my mind. Betty Lue

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