Acceptance or Rejection?

What will it take for us to accept ourselves and others as we are? What can we do to stop correcting and start accepting? What do we need to undo to remember the Good in everyone? What can we do to live in harmony with the differences in humanity?

In nature, animals distance themselves from predators. In nature, animals withdraw to find their own safe place. In nature, animals stay with their own kind to keep their offspring safe. In nature, animals move away from danger to protect and provide for their young.

While there are variations on this theme, in general, it is natural to associate where we belong. When we support our well-being by choosing associations that resonate with us, we are content. When we neglect our needs and try to fit it with others, we often find ourselves in difficulty and danger. When we recognize we are trying to change ourselves or others to get along, it is time to choose again.

Those who isolate do it to protect themselves. Those who hesitate do it to observe the conditions. Those who attach do it to feel safe and cared for. Those who detach and separate do it to find safety.

When we choose a place of employment, a partner, a neighborhood, are we aware of whether it fits for us? When we attract friends and mate, are we seeking someone with whom we share values, lifestyle, interests? When we want closeness, do we seek someone who wants closeness or someone with whom we feel safe? When we build teams for success, do we look for those who have the same goals and ethics?

In the melting pot of humanity, we seem to try to change people to fit our expectations. In our need to belong to someone, we seem to change ourselves to pretend to fit the other’s expectations. When we come together under false pretenses, we may feel disappointed, disillusioned and discouraged. When we are true to our own values with no expectations, we can discover others’ values and needs.

We can accept everyone, but we need not choose to work together. We can love everyone, but we need not live with them. We can respect everyone’s path to self realization, but we need not share their path. We can honor everyone’s beliefs and faith, but we need not try to believe what they believe.

When we choose a mate, choose wisely based on their preferred lifestyle, values, communication and goals. When we choose a neighborhood, choose where we feel welcomed and safe and accepted as we are. When we choose a workplace, choose one in which our preferences are honored and valued. When we choose friendships, choose friends who are respectful, responsible and supportive.

We can choose to criticize, correct and reject others as they are and they will reject us. We can choose to appreciate, affirm and accept others as they are and they will accept us. We can choose and choose again when circumstances change. We can choose to forgive our errors and change our minds and choose again.

Choose wisely for what works to support the best in you. Betty Lue

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