Staying Too Long?

Loyalty or attachment or just plain foolishness? Are you staying in a relationship because of love or fear? Are you afraid to leave what is familiar or are you needing to stay because you are not complete? Are you feeling stuck because of security and economic factors?

All of this leads to dis-ease or lack of freedom to choose. And being stuck and staying too long may lead to getting sick, getting mad and making problems. Often people who are unhappy and want to move on, make life difficult for those around them. When we are afraid to do what is best to do, we make it look like others are to blame for our unhappiness.

Children used to leave their parents’ home, when they graduate from high school or go off to college. People quit jobs because they are not growing and achieving what they desire and deserve. Families leave neighborhoods when the neighborhood changes or they want something better. Partners end relationships because they outgrow the limitations of the relationship.

Take a look at your life and see if there are areas which have become stagnant, cluttered, polluted. See if your home is inspiring and nurturing for you. Ask if your workplace is encouraging and supportive of your best self. Look at your friends and acquaintances to see if they are lifting you up or bringing you down.

It is often said, we can only be as good as our habits and associations. Know that the language and attitudes of the people in our lives influence us. Know that the fears we have limit and keep us stuck in the comfortable and familiar. Know that sometimes we stay in relationships which are abusive or negative because we are afraid.

As we change and grow, we may need to move more often. As our work lives are prolonged, we may want several different careers. As we live longer, we may have more than one deep and lasting relationship. This is not to be judged but to be honored for the good it provides.

When we make change wrong or shameful, we block needed changes. When we fear, changes will lead to more problems, we get stuck with out problems. When we stay because past generations stayed a lifetime in the same place, we may limit our growth. Ask yourself often if it is time to move on? Invite yourself to look at options.

What else could you be doing with your time, energy and money? Are you giving to what gives to you? Are you in a place where you are valued and fee supported? Is your whole life working for you?

The first step is often to know that you can choose to change for the better. Life is an invitation to grow your best Self.

Loving you, Betty Lue

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