Are you Getting the Love You Want?

If you give to get something in return, it is your ego running the show. If you give for the joy of giving, it is Spirit.

Yes, egos need love and they seek to support their beliefs about how to get what they want. People and personalities are attached to confirming their early childhood experiences. Getting sick gets attention. Being naughty gets attention. Whining and complaining gets attention. Or being helpful, being happy, being good, being clever gets the attention we want.

We usually choose people who fit into our early (before age five) patterns of unhealed stuff. We are most comfortable with what is familiar. We reject those who give us what we say we want and cling to those who give what we expect. We are trying to heal what hurt, confused or taught us (falsely) what we couldn't have.

Some people need to be shown, asked, coached and reminded to give what we would benefit from. We usually give to the other what we want to receive from them. And in turn, they are giving to us, what they want to receive from us. Some people expect no more than what they get. Some people are thrilled with receiving anything. Some people need nothing to feel loved. Some people always want more than they get. Some people just give what they feel called to give. Some people simply don't notice what is being given and received.

If you want to love someone, ask what do they really want/need to feel loved? If you want to be loved by someone, you may need to teach him (when he is full, healthy and happy) what you want/need to feel loved. Teaching requires demonstration, encouragement, coaching, patience and loving reminders. Are you willing to learn to forgive the blocks to the awareness of Love's Presence in your life?

If you are making the assumption (False Expectation Appearing Real= FEAR), that the other can give what they are ignorant or fearful of giving, you will be blameful and angry, hurt and defensive..

In general, people give the best they have, when they feel at their best. In general, men are afraid of affection because they have been taught it is weak. In general, women act needy and demanding and men feel inadequate and guilty. In general, women push men away by using whining, complaining and guilt to attack. In general, women use men to get what they want and need, rather than give all they have to give. In general, men are trying to please their women (make them happy) without losing their strength. In general, people will not become vulnerable unless they know it is safe...no judgment, no attack, no guilt or blame.

Neediness is a product of your thinking. Forgive yourself for thinking you don’t have enough Love. Look at all the ways you are loved. Gifts, acts of service, kind words, quality time and affection are the five primary ways to demonstrate love.

Thank you for being a happy willing learner. That is what we are here for. There is no perfect man or relationship. All relationships are for healing the past.

Remember life is for giving (not for getting!) And you are the gift.

It is only in freely giving the gift of Love you are that you realize the abundance of Love you have.

Loving you, Betty Lue

What I see is the Love I believe I am. The same is true for you.

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