Basics of Respect

Being rude has become the norm for many in our culture. Because the norm is accepted, we often forget what respect would look like. Many have not lived in a respectful household or known a respectful relationship. Many have grown up in a culture of disrespectful music and media. Most people have not learned etiquette or basic social graces.

To judge creates stuckness. To feel angry and blaming causes defensiveness and anger. To expect different behavior may create a sense of frustration and futility. To feel guilty about disliking disrespectful behavior generates separation and futility. To be forgiving of ourselves and others opens the flow of love and peace. With inner peace there is understanding and enlightenment. As light flows into our minds and love expands our hearts, we know the answer…. Education and modeling.

To educate is to lead out of darkness and ignorance. When someone does not know and is willing to learn, teach. When someone does not know and seems unwilling to learn, model. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The golden rule is the fundamental principle of respect. For many, the golden rule has never been experienced. Modeling and education are needed.

To respect is to look deeper than the surface. I must look and listen beneath the behavior and the words. What is the real message here? How am I being invited to respond? What can I do to model and teach others?

Create the habit of saying, “Please” and “Thank you”. Keep all agreements and promises. Do not talk about others outside their presence. (Don’t gossip). Be on time with appointments and bills. Thanks people for their time and offerings to you. Learn to write thank you notes for gifts. Share appreciation and love for what touches you. Never cancel dates because something “more important” comes up. Only change or cancel, because it truly is essential to your health and welfare. Always communicate changes with sincere apologies. Give professionals 48 hours advance notice for missed appointments. When calling, ask if it is a convenient time to talk. When visiting, be clear about the length of your stay. When sharing meals, transportation, or events, pay your fair share. In another home follow the lead of your host, ie. No shoes, no feet on furniture, glasses on coasters, etc. In another’s bathroom, only use the towels assigned for guests or ask which to use. Do not go into other’s cupboards or refrigerator. Ask for what you want. Don’t interrupt. Keep your phone conversation short, unless invited to have a long discussion. If unsure about the other’s time constraints, ask them specifically, “Do you have time now?” Clean up after yourself. Leave every place you go as clean or cleaner than you found it.

Give to others your most conscious behavior and you teach your world to be conscious. Give to others timeliness and courtesy and you teach others timeliness and courtesy. Give to others appreciation and consideration and teach others appreciation. Our best way of teaching is by living and giving what we teach.

Respect means I value you as much as I value me and more. As I grow in self worth and respect, I will value and respect you more. All of us are called to grow up in consciousness and grow in in respect. Listen inside for those areas of growth for you, perhaps totally different than my sharing.

Loving you, Betty Lue

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